4 posts tagged with "movies"

The Skinny​

A family vacations in an abandon trailer park and gets stalked by a group of masked crazies.

The Good​

Creepy looking movie cover, and since the original Strangers was at least passable entertainment, I gave this one a go. There are some recognizable celebs in lead roles. And if this movie has anything going for it, it's darkness. So if you're scared of the dark, maybe this movie will provide some tension for you.

The Bad​

Everything. Where to begin? For starters: characters we don't care about doing things we don't care about. And this is true for both the family and the strangers. The family has all the time in the world to run away or fight back, and they don't. There's one particularly annoying moment where two family members could easily overtake a stranger, but instead flail and shriek and corner themselves like morons. They shouldn't receive all the criticism though. The strangers have all the time in the world to kill the family members, but for no reason they take their time. And speaking of having reasoning for things, there's some hope throughout the movie that you will learn more about the strangers and their bloodlust. Near the end of the movie, a stranger shares their motivation for killing in two words, leading me to let out two huge sighs and start preying...I mean praying...I could get 90 minutes of my life back.

The Ugly​

The slowest, boring-ist, ridiculous-ist, didn't-care-what-happened-ist showdown/finale I think I've ever seen in a horror movie. It turns into some sort of Wile E. Coyote cartoon except it isn't funny or entertaining.

The Bottom Line​

I put the finale in thumbnail mode while I checked email on my phone, if that tells you anything about how engaged I was at the end.

Score​

0.2/5 stars

Please read carefully. It's not 2 starts out of 5, it's 0.2 stars.

The Skinny​

Taking place between the first and second Saw movies, Saw X finds its lead (John Kramer, played by Tobin Bell) in need of a life-saving surgery - which turns out to be a scam (relax, this isn't a spoiler...it's in the trailer).

The Good​

I can't believe I'm actually writing the following: this Saw movie has some heart. And not the literal kind that John's victims have to pull out of their bodies in order to escape his traps or whatever, but real emotion! To know he's walking into a scam is uncomfortable, but it helps you appreciate just how slick the players involved are. And I'm sure building up hate for the antagonists is very intentional by the writers - so that we don't mind at all when John starts carving them (well, making them carve themselves) into little pieces.

The Bad​

I haven't been able to watch movies like this since I had kids. Some of the scenes in here really made my stomach churn. I sort of blame my COVID fevers for picking this particular film, and while I definitely wouldn't say it was a bad film, it made me feel bad as a person to watch. And I took a shower immediately afterwards (night sweats might have been a factor as well).

The Ugly​

Pretty much everything that happens after John captures the people who wronged him.

The Bottom Line​

As much as a movie about that centers around torture can be "good" I'll say I was thoroughly entertained and there were some twists I thought I saw coming but didn't. And despite some over-the-top gore, there remains a tiny emotional heart at the center of Saw X.

Score​

4/5 stars

The Skinny​

Logan Marshall-Green stars as a not-so-tech-savvy mechanic who, after sustaining serious injuries from a car accident, agrees to an experimental body implant "upgrade" that comes with some interesting pros and cons.

The Good​

Sounds like some sort of Marvel movie premise, doesn't it? This is the kind of "what if" I would talk with my friends about at the elementary school lunch table. "What if you could get a super-powered body? Would you play it like Clark Kent and try not to get discovered? Or would you fully lean into it and get revenge on people who did you wrong?" The movie has a nice balance of both, and I enjoyed the tone all the way through. It is especially fun to watch Marshall-Green, fresh off his upgrade, slide into his first dangerous physical confrontation with a bad guy. He experiences both the joy - and terror - of having what is essentially a "Hey Google, kill this guy" device built right into his body.

The Bad​

I've heard people complain that the movie feels too "small" - that it's more like an episode of Black Mirror than a feature film. Comments like that always bother me. It seems outside the scope of critiquing the movie itself. Did the movie entertain you? Did you appreciate the acting? Was the story engaging? Then just say "Yes, I liked it!" Otherwise it's like saying "Well I liked the story but it seems like it could've just been a stage play."

The Ugly​

Not "bad" per se, but there is some pretty gooey violence and gore (a decent share of which plays off humorously).

The Bottom Line​

I loved it, and would definitely watch again!

Score​

4/5 stars

Why restart your blog? Nobody reads blogs anymore, right?​

Last year, after my wife's Facebook account was hacked (and recovered - read about that here) we had two scary realizations:

1. Facebook support is absolutely awful (unless you're famous or an "influencer").

2. Her Facebook account is probably the best log of our family's major life moments since our kids were born.

So this year, I wanted to publish some posts from my perspective and be able to easily download backups of everything just in case, God forbid, the site is hacked. (For nerds: this site is hosted by WPEngine which has been phenomenal so far.)

And yeah, maybe nobody will read this except me. That's ok, I just enjoy writing!

New year's resolutions and sicknesses​

My wife and I ended 2023 on an extreme high and low. We took a long weekend trip to Arizona sans kids so we could have some date nights - and also so I could do some indoor skydiving (all my posts on this topic are tagged with iFly) coached by Nik at AXIS Flight School. It was amazing! Check this out:

On the way home, we talked about how 2023 was kind of a rough year, and set some goals for 2024:

1. More patience with our parenting

2. Get to a place of peace more quickly when things are going south

3. Drop some weight and gain some muscle

Well, one day into 2024, I'm excited to say that #1 is going perfect (the kids are still at my parents' place :-), but #2 is already ruined. After both of us had a bout with coughing, runny noses and fevers, we took a COVID test and (drumroll please)...

Yeah, so that was a fun thing to celebrate! However, the silver lining here is that COVID has thrown off both of our appetites, which means that the 'rona has helped us start tackling goal #3! It's amazing how healthy eating comes easy when you have no appetite whatsoever. Can't taste or smell much.

Movie marathon​

I'll try to get some "formal" movie reviews posted, but here's what I've watched in the last 24 hours of being couch-ridden

• Saw X

• Upgrade

Food log​

File this under "nobody cares!" but towards the end of the day I got some taste back. Here's what my weird COVID appetite was able to handle:

• Mint hot cocoa from Caribou

• Bag of trail mix

• Bag of uncle Ben's lime rice

• A Mountain Dew

• A mountain of water

• Chicken noodle soup

• 2 Ritz crackers

Not the way I want to start losing weight in the new year but...umm...I'll take it!