## I was a Vegas virgin!

As a closing-in-on-40-year-old, it's weird (to seemingly just about everybody but me) that I had never been to Las Vegas until just a few weeks ago. I went there for a security conference my company sent me to, and I also had the privilege of [giving a talk](https://www.brianjohnson.tv/portfolio/speaking#iltacon).

## First impressions

My first impressions of Vegas were probably not unique:

- "Wow, the people watching is outstanding."
    
- Hmm...every where I go, the air smells like perfume-infused farts that came out of a smoker's butt."
    
- "If you look up the word _sadness in the dictionary, I think it would just be a bunch of pictures featuring people gambling."
    
- "Wow,the people watching is...scary."
    
- "If I want to walk across the street, it's going to take me 20 minutes because I need to take a shuttle to another area of the hotel, then take an escalator to a skyway that will lead me through a construction detour and then eventually to the other side of the street."
    
- "Great live music!"
    
- "Awesome live theater shows!"
    
## Highlights

I took a day to walk around the strip, take in the sights, eat too much food and gawk at people. A few highlights included a cool [Muhammad Ali](https://www.bellagio.com/en/entertainment/gallery-of-fine-art.html) exhibit, a bar that l[ooks like a giant chandelier](https://www.cosmopolitanlasvegas.com/lounges-bars/chandelier), a rollercoaster ride and the [Bellagio fountain](https://www.bellagio.com/en/entertainment/fountains-of-bellagio.html):

![ali-final.jpg](images/ali-final.jpg)

![chandelier.jpg](images/chandelier.jpg)

![fountain.jpg](images/fountain.jpg)

## You'd have to twist my arm to go back

As fun as the trip was - oh, and my talk went _super_ well! - I don't think I'll be coming back to Vegas anytime soon unless it was for some work-related function. Or by gunpoint. Why?

1. I don't smoke. And I don't enjoy second-hand smoke.
    
2. I don't drink. Except once a week (communion wine - ha! :-).
    
3. I don't do drugs.
    
4. I'm married. I don't believe it's good for my marriage if I'm off engaging in extracurricular activities with females who are not my wife.
    
5. I don't gamble. I've seen _way_ too many people flush fat wads of cash down a virtual toilet in minutes. If I'm going to waste money, I'll go to an arcade where at least I get about 5 minutes of play for every dollar spent!
    
Anybody else feel like Vegas was a "one and done" experience?